When your sliding into Third

I have two jobs. One job I have been at for far too long. Sadly after all the time I have spent here I still choke when asked by people what I do for a living. The second job has recently given me a phrase that I think of while at my first job. I’m not really sure if you would call it a phrase more of one of the job duties. At my second job there is a glorious job called Brand Management. Sounds nice enough right. Well don’t be confused it’s disgusting. This phrase is usually used to describe Clean Up. Most recently I have heard Brand Management used when asking that the public bathrooms be cleaned. This is usually because some kind individual has gone into the bathroom and clogged a toilet and or shit all over the place. In my short time at my new second job I have not been called to do any brand managing. If I did I would certainly have to tell whoever is in charge to kindly go fuck themselves because I WILL not clean up another human’s feces. I say this for a few reasons. First and foremost it is disgusting, I gag when walking into most public restrooms anyway. I hate cleaning my own toilet that I use at home, the idea of cleaning one used by the disgusting people that destroy the public ones has me gagging as I think about it. Secondly I do not get paid enough to clean up anyone’s mess. I have received two paychecks from this newest job and I cannot even imagine what life would be like if I had to rely solely on these checks, I certainly will not be wiping down any toilets for this check. I’ll take the write up or the firing I say now I will not do it.

At my second job I work a desk. But lately I keep getting called in to do brand management on work flow. There is literally so much work to do that there is SHIT everywhere. Sadly I rely on this job. I have to do whatever they tell me to do. Work extra hours, shorten lunches, minimize socializing at desk, and dedicate large blocks of time into doing other people jobs in addition to doing my job. BRAND MANAGEMENT. It’s a shit job but at least I can steal postage, paper clips, and semi decent pens at the end of the day.