So here I am in the Middle West Sippin' whole milk ma' f@#ka

Last night after getting destroyed at beach volleyball my teammates and I retired to our sponsor bar to lick our wounds drink a few beers and BS with each other. The bar that is sponsoring us is just a tad to fancy panted for my liking but since I did not do any of the legwork to get sponsored I have no place to complain too much. They have beer and there is a wing appetizer option so they have that going for them. Well as I sat there looking at the puny buffalo chicken wings a stir of commotion started just outside of the establishment. Then before I knew it Mayor Rahm Emanuel was rolling up to make an appearance at the event that was taking place there. Suddenly all the people in suits made a lot more sense and my volleyball team and I looked pretty nasty covered in sand and smelling of feet and defeat. I was about twenty feet away from our city’s newest Mayor and I felt a sense of pride. I made no attempt to talk to him but felt pretty cool, Daley was Mayor here for years and I never saw that stud anywhere. So far I think he’s pretty cool mostly because he has not done anything to screw over anyone I know so I am still glad that I voted for him back when it was time to do that. Funny thing is I saw how short this dude is, and let me say he gives us short guys hope that we can succeed in this life that usually seems like it is run by giants. Thanks Mayor from one shorty to another I think you are all right.

This weekend is a time for great celebration. For me it will be time of reflection and a time for celebration. Ten years ago while out on the town wasted out of my mind and generally just being a complete jackass I was hit by a car and hurt pretty bad. It is one of like three or four of my biggest life regrets, if I would have just stayed home that night and slept off my daytime drinking then my life might have been a little different. It is amazing how much a person can change in a decade, in my case I’d like to say that I’m changing for the better. I’m no saint and trouble still finds me but what can I say I’m a work in progress.

This weekend is also action packed, I already told you about the driving range tomorrow butt now there will also be some rib festing in Naperville at night where I will most likely be rocking out to some REO Speedwagon. Then Saturday I will be attending the cross-town classic over by Wrigley with my beautiful wife and her sister’s husband. Sunday I’m not sure but I think we might go to the Southside and scope out storage spaces for all of our stuff that we will not be moving into our in laws place. Then Monday we are going to some suburb to watch fireworks with a promise of massive funnel cakes. I took Tuesday off of work to just chill. So y’all are going to have to miss me until next Tuesday.

I meant for this to be a more jovial entry but I’m off my game do to the fact that I think I’m in the doghouse and I’m not even sure what exactly I did, I’m going to go with nothing. But maybe some flowers and a vanilla long john will help my cause

Be good out there kids, be careful with those sparklers, watch out with those Mickey’s Grenades, they are fun and everyone loves those rebus puzzles but they can sneak up on ya
    

my brain is melting like a chocolate ice cream bar

My face is peeling off, to be exact my forty head is peeling due to that fact that I like to play it loose and fast when out celebrating in the summer fun. Last Sunday I went down to the Taste of Chicago, for the first time in many years. We went right when it first opened and it wasn’t crowded at all, in fact it was kind of fun. My sugar momma bought me some tasty treats we drank down all the free juice my little bladder could handle and then hopped the train back home. I didn’t think I had gotten that much sun but over the last couple of days the brutal sun's power is starting to show. In a double whammy I also might have a bit of the sunburn on my freshly shaved head. So in addition to a forehead peeling all underneath my tiny hair it hurts. It hurts like someone has just bopped me on the head with their trapper keeper. Here’s the thing, I am super annoyingly safe about putting on the sunscreen and all that, because one summer I got so sun burned that I literally lost a whole layer of skin over a majority of my whole body. Ever since then I have been super safe, I wear a hat a majority of the time and am usually nice and slimy from a fresh coat of sunscreen.  Plus with the whole scare of skin cancer I’m trying to be super cool and make sure the evil sun doesn’t abuse me too much. So I have had my one slip up this season the rest of the season I will make sure to be prepared.

Mr. Skilling has informed me that it is going to get hot around here, make sure we all stay hydrated and rest up when time allows. With the heat rising I’d also like to request that everybody stay level headed and not get all crazy. We can all make it through he heat wave if we work with each other. My personal suggestion would be make friends with people who have access to pools. If that is too much there is always Lake Michigan to go and take a dip in, any of you knuckleheads that turn your nose up at going in that water can just go suck on an ice cube shaped like a turd.

In closing there are more beaches than just North Avenue and Oak Street Beaches. Personally I have always been a fan of Montrose and Foster Beach. Granted there is a much different clientele that hangs out there, but at this beach all are welcome and at times gives you the feeling you are visiting another country with how comfortable some of these people are with their bodies. I won’t give away too much butt if you have the chance visit Foster/Montrose beach during the week and you will truly be in for some great people watching. Plus you will not have to have any shame flaunting that body you have been hiding all winter.

Ok I have a free lunch on the way. Be good out there, and remember to take advantage of whatever opportunity presents itself. Oh and guard yourself from the cruel sun, that BEAUTIFUL cruel sun

And when you do them people think that you're cool

This week is going to be hectic, I have a shit ton of work to do and no concentration to get it completed in a reasonable time frame. I’m angling for the five-day weekend, which will cause me to have to bust my tail here for a while. So far they are staying legit with the summer hours so I need to take advantage of that. The weekend is already stocked with action packed adventure. There are a lot of things on the social calendar this weekend, something that doesn’t seem to be happening all that often. But since the Mrs and me are attempting to keep this whole summer of fun thing going we have said yes to every single offer that has come our way. It looks like Friday I will be heading out to Schaumburg or wherever to hit the driving range with my B.I.L. We went last summer and it was a blast, just standing there cranking golf balls with me rambling the whole time about how I’d love to learn how to golf. My B.I.L. listens patiently and always says “yeah you should then we could go real golfing” Who knows maybe someday I’ll commit to a full golf game someday till then it’s mini golf and driving ranges for me. I’m wondering if I could ride my bike out to his house in the morning. I figure if it takes thirty-five minutes in a car uit should take about two and a half hours on bike. (don’t think the brains of the operation will go for that) Maybe I’ll take the train, I just really don’t want to drive and as y’all know I LOVE riding my bike everywhere.

So yeah. Work is going to be a nasty ball puncher so I apologize if this thing is even lamer that what you have grown accustomed to. But I’ll do my best to keep you entertained. Entertained enough to last you through our summer break.

Separate from all this all day I keep having phantom tastes of booze. I have not drank since Saturday but every once in a while I’ll get the taste of booze. Really weird and it’s kind of making me crazy. It’s not like I’m hankering for a drink or anything but this phantom taste has me going crazy. What if I’m sleepwalking again and pouring myself these drinks, you know like how some people eat in their sleep. Nah

Well I’m out of here squares, be good, talk to strangers, say yes more than no, unless it’s to the designer drugs, Then JUST say NO unless….free then um no still say no unless.. ah forget it you know what to do.

said she'd do it all again, she'd promise not to tell!

Growing up my old man gave me a little piece of advice that at the time seemed kind of cryptic and very negative. I can’t tell you how many times he would tell me make as many friends as you can because when you are an adult you will have two you can rely on if you are lucky. Lately I can see that he was right and his Old Style fueled words were dead on. I have many acquaintances and people I’m friendly with, but there are a select few that when the shit goes down I can call out of no where and just talk to. There are a few that I can call at 2:00 am and just chat because I need to get stuff off my chest. They have an ability to understand that I am a drama queen and just need to slow down and talk about the issue at hand. These are the friends that I can reach out to and say I need this NOW and they will do whatever they can to make it happen. I am lucky I have four people and I am going to make more of an effort to let them know that I appreciate them.

Now that paragraph may have lead you to believe that I went crazy on the boat cruise with work people. In a surprise turn of events I showed self-control. I didn’t fall into the traps of people wanting to do shots. I ate the decent meal that was provided and didn’t rush to get my fill of other free booze that was being offered. I kept it to a couple of drinks when we came back in from touring around Lake Michigan. I even stuck to my guns and went home as people tried to get me to stay for “ONE MORE DRINK” I made it home with just a slight buzz and explained to my wife that I still wanted to go out for a while. We decided we were going to go and meet up with one of my work peeps for dinner and then go check out this event at a bar up in Andersonville. To start our Friday adventure we each tried some of this Buffalo Trace Bourbon I bought at this Whiskey/Bourbon tasting we went to a while back.

The night moved a long ok. I kept myself in check but I guess I wasn’t paying attention and in a wild twist my wifey got super hammer headed. It was a twist to see what most people have to deal with normally when I’m drunk. I will not shame her too much here but lets just say that I now know that true love is not always about all the cutesy crap and cards. Sometimes it is cleaning up vomit and holding hair and even getting thrown up on. The poor girl suffered through all Saturday the highlight being the family wedding Saturday, I feel bad but It was pretty weird to see her walk around in my shoes all day just praying to be back home where she could sleep it off.

I want to thank my Jiminy Cricket Consigliere who talked me down in the middle of all the craziness. You are a great person and I owe you a shot and a few beers. Your consiglio was just what I needed.

Oh and I didn’t even get hammered at the family wedding in Rockford. I must really be getting soft in my old age.

Be good out there kids. Tell your friends you love them. You can tell them when you’re drunk or sober. Just make sure they know how important they are.

Love ya’ll. XO OX

You can't stop me motherf@#ker, 'cause I'm on a boat

Well kids we made it through another week in the trenches. Today I’m only chained to the desk till just before lunch, then I am going on a company outing for a few hours. This year it is a cruise on beautiful Lake Michigan. I have to practice self-control because these company outings always have a possibility for me to get in a lot of trouble. Mostly because there is always free booze and I VERY easily get caught up in the party vibe. Things usually go side ways and I end up drunkenly stomping around the streets of Chicago trying to figure out how I got so drunk so fast. The answer is I drink REALLY FAST and don’t eat, I'm also kind of a pussy gato and can't handle my booze.  BUTT today I’m going to try and be a good boy. As I may have mentioned I have a family wedding tomorrow and it would be a bad idea to piss off the wife and then expect her to be cool all day at an extended family function, especially one where my family will totally take advantage of the open bar option. I rode my bike in as a way top try to keep myself from over indulging. (Note to self do not do your usual just one MORE drink) Wish me luck!

Yesterday night I did my Kobra Fitness Elite Class, holy shit stained underpants did it kill me. I am going to sign up for more classes there in an attempt to supplement my Elite class. This is seriously the best workout I have ever experienced; it really is my newest addiction. The really fun thing is when I’m done working out over there I ride my bike home from 18th and Halstead all he way back to my little North Center abode. I figure if I can work out with that dude twice a week and then ride home I will have no problem getting down to the weight on my Driver License, o at least shifting around the way some of my man gut is displayed.

Well I have to get to work. I’ll regal you with stories from the High Seas on Monday Fun day.

Smooches

P.S. This is Pride weekend kiss your favorite same sexer, if that makes you happy. If you are all lame and hetero well do what you normally do. Blame it on the alcohol.

take a bite outta crime

Disturbing news out of Old Irving Park has just been brought to my attention from the super awesome kids I kindly refer to as Ma and Pops. At some point during the day today a person or people broke into my parents garage and made off with about six or seven 30 packs of PBR/Old Style and a few twelve packs of pop. NOTHING ELSE was taken as far as my ma could see, all the tools and other crap they have in the garage was still there. But my poor pop’s happy juice is nowhere to be seen. I’m sure you are saying why was there so much beer there why was it not stored safely in the house where beer belongs. Well it turns out that beer was on sale so my mom stocked up a healthy supply being the kind considerate wife that she is. Before you start calling my old man a drunk a lot of people also visit and help him drink through his tasty beer supply.

So now my dad is in the yard fixing the door that these heartless criminals kicked in to get to his liquid treasure, I’m sure he is dying of thirst. (Not really he was enjoying a cold Old Style as my mom told me of the burglary) Everything is fine my parents just wish they could figure out how absolutely no one saw people walking in and out of their yard making off with the Booze and Pop, not 2be confused with me calling my dad Pops.

They think the perps may be neighborhood kids who may have somehow known that the beer was there, or these two heshers that they always see cruising the alleys by their house. The funny thing about it possibly being heshers is my mom said I think it was these two guys that look like your older brother, who is definitely a hesher.

So yeah kids be careful out there people are stealing hard working peoples Pabst Blue Ribbon and then most likely recycling them taking that money and buying smokes. Cigarettes maybe even a bag of the funny stuff Marijuana.

Something just occurred to me what if it was some hipsters from Logan Square, Wicker Park or Buck… nah those arms are not strong enough to carry 30 packs.It had to be heshers or northwest side kiddies having a summer party.JERKS

Be good out there kids and watch out for one another. Call your moms and dads.

my heart was beating like a jungle drum

This Saturday I will have the joy of heading out to Rockford Illinois to hang out with my extended family for the wedding of one of my cousins. I remember a time when I would get so excited to go to one of these weddings. They were always a blast with everybody celebrating like crazy and drunkenly dancing around like maniacs screaming and shouting at each other how much they loved each other and how we all needed to hang out more often. Lately the weddings have not been so much fun it seems to me. At my wedding last year most of my family spent the whole time outside smoking and only coming in to grab drinks. Some of my family was inside and in a truly great moment in my life I danced to a few random songs with my dad. My wedding was a blast and to me  as so many people say it went by so freaking quick. The whole day was a dizzying blur.

I remember waking up on my parents couch and thinking today is the day it all becomes official, we had been dating for 5 years and I had already been calling her my wife for three years. Waiting to talk to her until I saw her was one of the hardest parts of my day; you see I talk to my wife in some form a lot throughout the day. Waiting till 2:00 pm was hell on earth. My groomsmen met me at my parent’s house and I realized that although they were great friends there were other people that should have been filling at least two of the positions. But it was cool they were good enough friends and they did the very minimum required. But that’s not important to this. Where was I?

On this day I felt an emotion I have never felt before, I would get these rushes of panic, happiness, excited ness and worry. This happened nonstop all day but kicked into a higher gear when I got into the church. I would get these rushes where it seemed like I was going to start bawling my eyes out. I would calm down joke around with my brother, who was the best man there could ever be, but then I would get overwhelmed again and just kind of need to be by myself. As I stood at the front of the church and watched her come down I lost it a few times. She was cool as cucumber salad of course the whole time. But you can see/hear me in the wedding video shaky voiced barely able to breath trying to make my way through the ceremony. As soon as the ceremony was over and we were in our tiny school bus off to the reception I was back to my normal goofy self. But that one hour of church time I was a ball of nerves just waiting to COMPLETELY lose my shit I’m glad the floodgates never fully opened. There is a funny part where my wife reaches into her dress and pulls out a Kleenex so I can do a quick clean up from the snot that was starting to run down my face.

The reception was fun and a few surprises were pulled off. I have been happy to see some of the pictures lately and catch a few people truly helping us enjoy ourselves. We are still paying for that huge party. YIKES!! Buit of course it was worth every stinking penny.

So yeah I wonder how the wedding in Rockford will be

I ain't afraid of no ghosts

When I was a much younger version of the person I have grown up to be I thought the two funniest people in the world were Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis. As a hyper spastic, clumsy freakazoid I was I thought Jerry Lewis was just about the funniest person around. He is the first non cartoon character I remember thinking was pretty awesome and would watch anything with him in it and then try to re-enact the bits I saw him do later. It annoyed the heck out of my parents because I would talk in the high-pitched freaky annoying voice for hours on end. It is no wonder that they would look forward to days when it was nice outside so they could get a break from my horrible impersonations of good ole Cinderfella. As I got older so did Jerry Lewis, in my eyes he became a lot less funny, and maybe too serious for me, although I did love him in that movie King of Comedy.

Which reminds me of the time I was King of Comedy(ed) by Harold Ramis at a premier for his movie Analyze That. I may have mentioned before that I have worked with a film company here is Chicago. Well back when Analyze That the sequel to the super hit Analyze This was gearing up for it’s major theatrical debut I somehow scored tickets to a private premiere that would be attended by ole Dr. Egon Spengler himself. The film company and I figured if I could get close enough to him to give the thirty second pitch he would be floored and automatically say yes I want to help you kids make this movie. I was picked to be the one who would go because I figured the worst he could say is no and get out of here. The whole day I practiced what I would say to him, I warned myself not to talk too fast or too much something I always end up doing anyway.

So I arrive at the screening and find my seat, I watched the movie and to this day don’t remember a second of it. Afterwards there would be a meet and greet cocktail hour. I downed a few quick cocktails and finally laid eyes on Mr. Ramis who for some reason was standing by himself. I walked up and started trying to chat him up, you know complimenting him on how great his movie was and how I thought I had a great movie for him to follow up with. He listen and even took one of the cheap business cards I had, I tried to hand him a copy of the script as I told him a little information as to the story line and who we thought would be good to play roles. He kindly stopped me and gave me the phone number of the people who represent him, he told me to call them and submit the script through them and he would see what he could do.

I remember running outside to tell the boys I had done it I made contact and had received a phone number. Well I’m sure you can tell how the story plays out, I called the number a bunch of times until getting the “we’ll call you if he’s interested” It was a crushing blow because I truly believed that he would eventually read the script and we would be in business. But I guess it was movie making partnership hat was never meant to be. But at least he was decent in turning me down, I see now that it is just a way to keep crazy people from harassing you. Call my people is the polite way of saying “get the hell away from me you whiskey drenched twenty something year old your freaking me out” Well played Egon.

Well back to the cube. It’s getting warm again out there be good to each other kids.

Did you hear Ghostbusters III is green lit?

Everyday I'm Shuffling

I sat down when I first got to work to write out this story about how when I was a shorty coming up on the northwest side of Chicago a science teacher once explained my place in my little group of troublemakers as a catalyst. I looked up what a catalyst was to refresh my memory and the scientific definition is “A substance that increases the rate of a chemical reaction without itself undergoing any permanent chemical change.” Pretty interesting right? Not sure why being called a catalyst stuck with me but it seems to suit my personality pretty close I think. I’m going with the whole idea that I increase the rate of things without any permanent change. This is where I keep getting stuck where do I go from here,

I‘ll leave the Science talk to Bill Nye the Science Guy and instead bore you with whining about my super awesome job and my battle with my little Prego belly.

Have I mention that my stature is that of a one of those pregnant woman that are super skinny butt then they turn profile and you are like holy shit balls you are pregnant. Almost everywhere else I’m in semi decent shape but right in the guttural region I have what can be referred to as a beer gut. The problem is I LOVE crap foods; I also like to drink when I get the chance. Given the option I could say no to booze but put pizza on the chopping block and I would tell you I am not all that bothered by my gut.

Separately today is the first day of summer officially. Get out there and have a FLING, if you are not in a relationship. Go somewhere different don’t act like a creep and get some digits kiss some strange. For those lovers out there put the moves on your lovah. Pretend like it’s new and have some summer fun

In closing the wife has went on a run with me, a nice short 1.5 miler. I loved every second of it; I’m going to see if I can get her out there again tonight. She has mentioned on a few different occasions that she would like to become a runner again.

Oh and only one whiney thing today, my stupid I pod is still F’d up. I thought I fixed it last night only to find out after 3.5 hours of unchecking question marks that the original source could not b found. I was a little more than pissed after getting all excited that I would finally have my music back. One of these days it will happen, until then I’ll just have to enjoy the random songs I have purchased over the passed five years, some good some bad.  I wish I wouldn’t have crashed my old computer so bad. Grrr. I hate that I am so technologically inept

I'm gonna tell you what I really think I like about Mondays

Hello boys and girls, welcome to the greatest day of the week, Hells yes I said the greatest day of the week. Mondays in cube Ville move at such a breakneck speed that sometimes I’m surprised when I look at the clock and see that two hours have clicked off the workday and I am a little closer to sweet Monday night release. This Monday morning was especially a great treat because I overslept (again) and ended up getting caught in he rain as I rode to work. The rain felt really refreshing, keeping me from being a total sweat hog as I pedaled in. I wore these pair of shorts that apparently when they get wet they slide down exposing my rear end to whatever car is driving right behind me. Luckily today I was wearing underpants or that would have started someone else’s week off on the wrong foot, or on the right foot depending how the person felt about my brown eye winking at them. Gross yes but wouldn’t that be an even better sicker option than just flicking someone off if they were honking at you or following too close. (shiver) Even I am surprised by my grossness sometimes.

So Saturday night the wonderful wife and I attended the birthday of one of her co-workers. We decided that we would take public transportation so that we could both enjoy ourselves, meaning my wife could enjoy herself since I always tend to enjoy myself. We were heading to a spot in Logan Square, which could have easily been reached by taking two buses. But being the genius I decided we would take a train to a bus, well apparently the Armitage bus does not run in the evening. So my poor wife was subjected to my poor judgment and ended up walking about two miles in shoes not meant for walking. You see I have no concept of how far anything is and was under the impression that it would only take us twenty to twenty-five minutes to walk from the Armitage brown line stop all the way to Armitage and Western, actually a little further west that Western. After dragging her through that weird industrial area she finally said, “we are taking a cab no matter how close it is” after a ten-minute (in the cab) ride we arrived at dinner. Next time I think we will use a better trip planner through CTA.

The dinner was pretty awesome and afterwards we went to this bar that is that areas version of the five am bars that I used to frequent back in the day. The place looked cool and grimy enough but they totally over charge for all of their drinks. I had my fair share of Whiskey drinks and only got into one minor disagreement with one of my wife’s co-workers. I also burned through my workweek walking around money. It was fun though but next time I hope they pick a better bar.But in bar's defense I think all bars overcharge now, there is never anything special about the specials.

Sunday I had a bit of a lazy hangover and went to the in-laws for some kick ass grilled steak. We talked a bit about the future move in to their house, and I have to say I’m curious how it will all work out. I’m sure y’all will read about the misadventures here.

The phrase that pays is “eye on the prize” as in we will be buying a house back on the north side after this little experiment is over.

Oh and don’t forget to eat your vegetables and fruits.

i don't care if mondays black, tuesday wednesday heart attack, thursday never looking back

Holy smokes I have been a busy little Bieber today. I woke up and hit up the bike to work rally where I scored just shy of a case of free Sobe Water and two of those FRS energy drinks. I missed the raffle that they were doing but made up for it by grabbing an additional free t-shirt to give to my dad for fathers day. I went to the bank to do banking stuff and now I am at home mapping out what to do with the rest of my day. I’m going to go over to Play it Again Sports and see if I can put my old bike up for sale. Then depending how that goes I may go to the Barber Shop (whoa keep going till I hit the spot). It‘s time for my summer hair cut that makes me look like I just enlisted in the army. Being the sweat hog that I am this is just about the best idea that I can come up with to stay cool while running and cycling around this beautiful city I live in. Also as I get older my hair gets thinner in front, I guess I’m referring to my bangs , they bunch up and I end up looking like that little weirdo Squiggy from Lavern and Shirley, which is never a good look.

I am amazed at the amount of stuff I plan on getting done today before I head back downtown for this Nike+ party taking place over buy Soldiers field this evening. I’m not sure what to expect there but I’m hoping there is another chance to get more free stuff. Because I am just goofy over free stuff, I believe some people refer to it as swag. I LOVE SWAG. If I hear there is a chance for a free T-shirt I’ll do just about any goofy old thing, throw in some free food and or drink and I’ll spend hours hanging around.

Well I’m off to do my chores. I’m very hopeful that Play it Again Sports will sell my old single speed Fugi DelRay for me and not make me go through the process of trying o sell it on Craiglist..Ugh Creepy awesome Craiglist

everbodies doing a brand new dance now

For my friends in cars: I know you are in a hurry to get where you are going, I know there is nothing more fun than kicking your door wide open into traffic/ bike lane. But you are seriously scaring me. Last night I was almost DOORED. I’m still not sure how it didn’t happen. I’m glad it didn’t but please takes the extra second to look in your mirror before you cowboy step out of your vehicle and I’ll promise not to spit on your car.

Oh and people rushing out between cars (mid sized kids) Not cool. If a car hits you it will hurt you. If I hit you on my bicycle it will hurt us.

Bike to Work Rally TOMMOROW WOOT WOOT!!

(there is a pizza party break here)

The words are caught high up in my knuckles they do not want to be two finger typed into this word document. Each time I get about half of a page worth of stuff on this page I delete it and dismiss the stuff I am rambling about as boring. I am also having a hard time buckling down and getting to work. I got here late again and of course it has thrown off my whole day. But there have been some pretty sweet highlights. On the bike ride in I was treated to a free smoothie from a company celebrating the whole bike to work week and then for lunch today there was a pizza party for this guy celebrating his 10-year anniversary. For those of you that do not work in an office free food in an office doesn’t last long. Everyone turns into animals as soon as the e-mail goes out informing us all it’s here. Being the rat racer I am I got a pretty decent amount and am currently basking in my post pizza binge afterglow. So much for staying on track during the week and only indulging over the weekend, Separately did I tell y’all Saturday morning I actually had a double whopper with cheese for breakfast, like real breakfast 9:30 in the morning breakfast. I was not the only one who woke up with that idea. Score big points for burger king.

Tonight I have my Elite Training at Kobra Fitness, I am totally enjoying this class especially since I just stay down here at work and ride my bike over there. It’s that little bit extra of cycling that makes me feel I can indulge at lunch. There’s a good chance I won’t be at work tomorrow due to summer hours. I’ll still wake up at regular time to go to the bike to work rally but after that all bets are off. A few chores to knock out while the wife is at work then it’s play time.

So don’t forget to call your pops and tell him you think he’s tops. I know I think my dad is the Bee’s knee. The coolest thing to come along since frozen water. If your dad’s a dick tell your favorite bartender how much you care, or that guy putting the dollar down there.

Two tahs! Sorry for wasting your time today

no more flippin' burgers puttin' on my silly hat

I never in a million years imagined myself working in an office. When I was a shorty coming up on the northwest side of Chicago all I ever wanted to do was perform. I never wanted to be a firefighter, policeman, lawyer or professional sports player. I always wanted to perform/entertain. But even as a kid I was lazy and not really motivated to chase after what I wanted. The first thing I remember wanting to be was an artist, I never really figured out what kind of artist but eventually I outgrew that when I realized even my stick figures were horrible. I believe the next thing I wanted to be was a drummer and I was all about it. It seemed like the perfect instrument for a kid with crazy amounts of energy on his hands. But I never even tried to ask my parents about lessons. So that dream went out the window. For the LONGEST time I wanted to be a comedian, I thought I was a funny little turd and the job seemed to have no training requirements. I would study comedy routines and repeat them word for world to anyone who would listen. Then one day I had to do a demonstration in front of my school, I decided I would do a demonstration on how to be funny. I will not go into too much detail but I bombed so badly, bad enough that I swore to myself I would never put myself in that position again.

Then there were a bunch of years where I had no clue what I wanted to be, until I somehow landed the lead in a high school play. From then on I was convinced I would become an actor. I chased that dream for years, but until recently I never realized how lazily I chased it, I found ways to not attain my dreams. I did accomplish a few cool things in my quest for success. I owned, operated and put on ONE successful theater production, which being the arrogant person I am I put myself in the lead role. The company failed after two other tries and I gave up on it. This was during the grocery days; somewhere in here I landed my first office job somehow. My very first supervisor was a cool dude, he told me he knew I would be successful I just needed to treat my office job like I was playing a role. Somewhere in here I was part of a film company, which was pretty cool, we even put out a lot of shorts and a features. But eventually people grew out of it. Starting your own film company is VERY expensive, especially when all of your work meetings take place in bars. But I am proud of that film company. It provided me with some excellent adventures and through one promotion event I even met the woman I would eventually marry. Luckily for me she was not an actress. You know cause actresses are FREAKING CRAZIES.

Well I need to get back to Cubevill. TPS reports are calling. I still have 2-3 weeks until I see if I move into the next phase for my future job I’m trying to get. Then only five more steps after that where I can be disqualified at any time. That translates to at least six to seven more months here. Awesome (dripping in sarcasm)

Maybe one day the film company will be resurrected. If I stop being so lazy

up there dem angels been talking

Last night I had to park the car on the dirty dangerous streets of North Center. The parking garage of the condo I rent will be power washing the spaces today so we had to move the car outdoors. There was a Cub’s game last night so I had to pay attention to where I parked most of the streets around my place become permit only during night games. There was also street cleaning on one side of the main street I live on. Within the four minutes it took me to park the car in a legit spot I was almost in four car accidents. Surprisingly only one of them would have been my fault. It was the near collisions that got me thinking about my luck.

Generally I am not lucky at all; in fact in the gambling world I am what is called a Cooler. For those of you not familiar with the term in gambling parlance, a "cooler" is an unlucky individual whose presence at the tables results in a streak of bad luck for the other players. In fact I was once booed and heckled off a Black Jack  table in Las Vegas because as soon as I sat down everyone strated losing. In fact one person rather annoyed with me said “hey jerk we were all having a lot more fun before you sat down” after a few more jeers I got up and went to another table where people cheering and yelling only to see everyone lose as I stood there watching and waiting to try and get into the game. I left before anyone could figure out it was me that had made the table turn. If I am truly rooting for a sports team and truly want them to win it is a gaurantee that the team will inexplictively lose. I guarantee you had I not come down with a weird flu when the White Sox won the world series they would have lost if I was out at the bars cheering them on. In fact each season the Bears have done alright is mostly because I have not watched but when I do BAM they blow it. No need to blame Cutler you can blame me. I am the real life version of that guy they make stand in the bathroom when they are shooting dice in Bronx Tale.

But sometimes I get just lucky enough. I have had momemts where I know that there has to be someone looking out for me. Last night I was nearly reversed into VERY hard by this car but somehow the car just missed T-Boning me. I’m sure the girl in the other car is still trying to figure out how the accident didn’t occur. I saw people all around with shocked looks that the crash they were expecting did not come. My "just lucky enough" comes in seconds. I always notice it and am totally shocked. I am pleased that for all the bad luck I have have, I am sometimes awarded with those few seconds that help me avoid car accidents, stepping into an injury, I don’t know how else to explain it. I just know that someone is watching out for this little weirdo. I know that at times I keep my gaurdians working overtime cause I am a walking catastrophe waiting to happen.

Good Luck out there kids.

but Charlie don't surf on your laughter on Black Monday

The weekends go by so freaking fast. I feel like I just logged off a few hours ago and now I am back at my desk. Of course I am having a hard time starting my work today. I have found ever reason to be distracted, but I guess I need to get down to business if I want to ideally have my summer hours off. So right after I finish this I will start my work.

Friday I went out to eat at a restaurant right by my parent’s house. It was FREAKING AWESOME!! It was also totally unplanned which may have made the experience a little more fun. You see lately I have been feeling boring, like life has become way too routine, so when I goy home Friday I came in like an even bigger hurricane than I normally am. You see I often come home and talk for 20 minutes straight about absolutely nothing barely coming up for a breath to see if the wife is responding or even listening. My brilliant idea was to hop into the car and drive somewhere anywhere just to do something different than come home hop in my underoos and watch my stories until I fall asleep. I tried to find some quick getaways but struck out on each idea. Then the brains of this operation suggested that we go somewhere nice for dinner. I quickly searched this one restaurant that we have wanted to try, but they would not be able to seat us until 9:00 pm, which is way to late for grandpa Punkerson. Then my wife suggested this place by my parents’ house. It is a restaurant that I have probably been in 1.5 times in my entire life. I called and they were able to get us in within the next half hour. It WAS AWESOME!! If you ever get the chance you need to check out Sabatino’s http://www.sabatinoschicago/.

Holy smokes the whole experience is totally worth every single penny. First off they give you a little pizza bread to get the party started, they also have all sorts of specials that the awesome waitresses will gladly go over multiple times if your short attention span can’t remember what she said after the thirds item. I won’t walk you through the whole meal but I will say all of the portions are generous and I enjoyed every single thing I shoved in my face. As we slowly walked to the car we were already discussing how we totally have to go there again. Maybe next time I’ll tell my parents I’m going there.

Saturday I hit up two fests Mid Sommer Fest in the early afternoon and Rib Fest in the evening. Mid Sommer fest was awesome and Rib fest left me a little annoyed. We burned through our money fast at Rib fest and ended up back at home within an hour and a half of leaving. I’m hoping my summer of fun brings better, and more funfest experiences.

Sunday I went to the in-law’s house to help open the pool for summer, which was surprisingly fun and it kind of reminded me of summers opening he pool at my parents’ house as a kid. I think my F.I.L. also may finally be warming up to me. He even started a few conversations as my B.I.L. and I helped get the job done.

I have to get back to work. OH and. It’s Bike to Work Week. For all you brave enough to ride the mean streets of Chicago this is our month to shine. Maybe I’ll see you at the Bike to Work rally this Friday. I’ll be the on that looks like Jim Breuer. For real I think we look very similar.

you don't know a thing about me

my biggest issue as I get older is people just are not interested in the same things I am. Within the last six years I have increasingly become more and more interested in fitness. Running, cycling, different workouts, and swimming are things I like to hunt out. The kick in the balls is none of my friends are into it. I tried to drag my brother into running two years ago but that was mostly a waste of time. I was hoping we could build our bonds from our youth but it fell flat. He was never able to go on training runs and in all reality didn’t like it as much as I did. Being the jerky older brother I am I really tried to force it on him. He did complete the marathon with me, which was awesome, but afterwards he was done with it. That was such a fun day and I really felt like we were little kids again as we ran the streets of Chicago getting with the goal of finishing. He did and I was so proud of him. But then his running just stopped. He had done the marathon and that was good enough for him. He didn’t catch the same running bug as I did when I first started. But then my running motivation was totally based off something else.

My wife got me into running, when I first started running I hated it but I really liked the girl and figure I could log a few miles here and there if it would help my cause. Well as I started logging miles I started liking it more. Then I did a race and I was hooked, I slowly started smoking less and wanting to run more. Then I realized if I didn’t drink, as much I felt way better when I ran. Soon I realized I loved running races, a 5K here and 10K there slowly building to half and then full marathon. Suddenly I was filling my time running, I was running with future wife, I didn’t know it at the time but I did know that I loved watching her run. We would wake up early in the mornings on weekends and go for ridiculously long runs by the lake. We would be starting our runs as people were still leaving he 4 am bars. A certain sense of smugness would course through my veins as I pounded pavement knowing these jerks would all wake up with hang over and regret. Then one day my wife wiped out while we were out on a run her running season was over. So I started going out by myself and that was ok but it meant leaving her home sometimes for hours at a time. Which totally sucked

So we took swimming lessons, which was cool because I loved it and started working on my technique. But it was winter so the walk back to our tiny apartment was less than fun.

My real issue is none of my friends like the stuff I like. Yes I still like drinking but I can’t drink like I used to. Hell I shouldn’t have drunk like I used to anyway. But that’s another entry or seven all together. None of my friends are active; my idea of fun has changed. I don’t know what point I’m trying to make here. I guess I feel disconnected.

My want to drink is low and my want to be active is high.Well active when I don't want to sit on a couch for seven hours watching tv. I just don’t have the patience to make news friends that as interested in the things I am. I have enough friends. I just don’t feel like I fit in anywhere.Ugh

Have a great weekend kids. Hopefully my gloom and doom will pass soon.

Mr. Luther King had a dream. Dreams are where Elmo and Toy Story had a party

I was in such a weird mood this morning I forgot to tell you the weirdest freaking dream I had in whatever time it was that I was asleep. In the dream I was flying the Millennium Falcon. I was really drunk and in a big hurry to get home, but due to my impairment I smashed the thing right into some kind of building. The building was like a combination of a train station, shopping mall, factory, and weird stuff other stuff. As I sat there in the crashed MF I tried to figure out how I would explain to my wife that I had messed up and crashed the MF and we would not be able to use it for our big trip that was coming up. I realized that I had to get out of this thing because if the police showed up I would totally get ticketed for flying under the influence. Which would totally jeopardize me getting that job that I am trying to get and that would totally suck. I got out of the craft and started walking around the building only to come back to the crash scene where police had arrived. There was an even weirder part of me trying to figure out how to convince the authorities that some A-hole had stolen my car and whatnot when I realized I was still drunk. I’m not sure what happened after that but I was walking around a city doing the 900-pound head drunk walk home. Not sure if I was ever ticketed but apparently no one was hurt during the crash of the Millennium Falcon.

The weird thing about me having this dream is I do not really know all that much about Star Wars. In fact I’m not even really all that into it at all. Even as a kid I could have cared less about all of it. I’ve never been a fan of the Sci-Fi at all. The only things that made sense was the walking like my head weighed 900 when drunk, fear of blowing the job I’d like to get, and being horrified of letting my wife down. Weird stuff.

I love how the mind works.

Random weird sleep ender.

Has any band ever done a hard-core cover of the song “I Saw the Sign” by Ace of Base? I was rocking out to it the other day and I though wouldn’t’ it be bad ass to hear a Pantera or some Death metal band that still exist do a cover of it. Also the song Walk by Pantera is totally freaking awesome.

Bet you will never see Ace of Base and Pantera mentioned in the same paragraph any where else

sharks patrol these waters

I am on edge today; well to be honest ever since my power surged last night then went out I have been on edge. I could barely sleep all night. The hairs on my arms were standing straight up and I was scared like a little kid of the sound of hail hitting my windows. My electricity popped back on at 2:30 am, and I was wide-awake. I set all the clocks settle back into bed but could not fall asleep. My electric must have gone off again because when my wife’s battery powered alarm clock went off my alarm clock was flashing again. Oh and the carbon monoxide detector makes this crazy beeping noise when my electric goes off and then comes back on. This happened three times during the night last night. So I guess I should have notice my flashing alarm clock earlier. Whatever.

So now my schedule is all off and I’m edgy. Normally I naturally wake up at like 5:30 lay in bed for a while, get up ride my bike to work to start by 7. I got to work today at 8:30 and almost automatically everything is working my nerves. I feel like I want to go off on someone for no reason. Not a good way to be while I’m here.  I’m also staying at work till about 5:15 then heading directly to my class tonight at 6:00.

The bright side of this is I still rode my bike in, and it felt GREAT. As on edge as I am I truly enjoyed my ride in, it felt nice.

My work is going to make me want to go all Michael Douglas in falling down so I’ll have to keep reminding myself to just let it go. I don’t want to be “that” guy in the office.

I’m going to cut it off here. But I have to say I sure am glad I am not driving a van in this weather/ YIKEs

Cause I drive a white van

In the nineties I had one of the most fun jobs I have had in my entire life, and this may not be too much of a surprise but I have had many jobs. For quite a few years I worked delivering groceries for various stores. But at one point I had what my group of Groc Boy crew called the gravy route. It would eventually become the mash potato AND gravy route. I worked for this nice grocery store in Lakeview. It was a sweet job. It was a job that I could wake up in the morning with two dollars in my pocket and have plenty of money to enjoy a rock and rolling evening. Most of my friends worked for other stores so we would often run into each other throughout the day. In the summer time it would be crazy awesome and all work from 10:00 am – 6:00 pm or a little later depending on how busy/lazy people were at the grocery store. I learned a lot about people during that time, stepping into their lives for a few minutes to drop of the food. Of course the more money people made the less they tipped. We would always bet on the tip. There were some notorious people who never tipped, and sometimes there were old ladies that offered you hot chocolate on 100 degree days and a cold pop in the middle of winter along with a quarter or two if you got it there fast. I worked as a grocery boy for many years until I had a falling out with one of my bosses. It was one of the only jobs I was able to look my boss in the face and tell him to F- off and go back home and go to sleep. Shortly after leaving the job I started my corporate life.

Sometimes I look back at my carefree days of a delivery driver and think of how much fun it was. But in my head and back I realize how sad it would have been if I stayed a grocery delivery guy. I’m glad it didn’t work out, I’m positive my life would definitely have went in a different direction if I stayed at the other place another month. One of these days I’ll have to write more about those crazy days. But right now I’m heading to the gym for some interval training.

Remember to TIP when tipping is called for.

you will not go to heaven you'll go to Champaign Illinois

This is by far my favorite time of year to live in the beautiful city of Chicago. There is absolutely not one bit of sarcasm in my throat when I say that. You see I love it when it is hot and humid. It is bad for people around me because I am a total sweat hog but I cannot deny the fact that my mood is higher and I am generally easier going. I love that when I ride my bike to work in the morning it is almost like someone has dumped a bucket of water over my head. Even though I must take three showers a day during the summer I love it. I love that I do not feel the need to get to work as fast as possible in the morning. I love that there are people out at 5 am riding bikes, running, and (gasp) rollerblading. In the evenings I find myself wanting to be out just to be out, like when I was a kid and was able to stay out until just after the streetlights came on. Also who doesn’t love an ice cold cocktail or even better an ICE-cold beer on an extremely hot and humid evening? I just wish people didn’t get so crazy as the temperatures started to rise. We have only had a few warm days in a row and I already see the stories on the news of crime getting more aggressive. Mob Action? Random acts of Violence? Really humanity come on, can’t we all figure out how to spend a nice summer day with each other. Hopefully as Chicagoans get used to he heat they will all remember how much we really just want to have fun, stay out a little later than we’re suppose to. That hangover you will suffer through will be a reminder that last night was worth it and the four times you said “one more drink” was worth it. As long as you are not driving because you know what people. DRINKING AND DRIVING IS NOT COOL. Go to the local bar; take the train to the bar just out of range. Maybe that stranger you meet will let you have a sleep over if you play your cards right.

Which leads me to…. Ladies if you are single just go out and talk to guys. Any guy you want within reason. It is a million times easier for a girl to approach a boy. Buy him a drink, compliment him on his beer gut, and ask if his team is winning in the sport he is pretending to watch. Men are not a complicated bunch. They are as simple as you think.

And gentlemen grow a sack walk up to the girl; don’t try any lines just talk to them. Take notice in what they are doing. Compliments go far as long as they are not creepy. That is probably the hardest thing about being a guy is we automatically are creeps until we prove otherwise.

Talk to strangers kids, get phone numbers, say ridiculous things, make poor decisions, enjoy a humid morning walk of shame, but be respectful.

Oh and all you married or coupled up people treat your significant other like it is the first month you met them. Where you had super powers and were not too tired to stay up talking, heavy petting, and eventually well you know where it’s heading. Listen to each other pretend you are strangers. Keep it interesting.

I’m all over the place I notice. But summer does that to me.

Drivers of Chicago please be careful out there, my wife has started riding her bike to work, she’s a rookie so please don’t haze her with car horns, following too close or the worst fear of any cyclist kicking your car door open into the bike lane. I also request that people stop joking about dooring it’s not funny.

Stay Thirsty my friends

Beergut -no longer can he see his nuts

I am tired. The weekend went by Fast and Furious Tokyo drift style, and now I am back at my desk fighting to keep my eyes open. I fear today is going to be a real ball snapper so I figured I’d stop by here before I became too much of a whiny fool. I actually did a fair amount of drinking this weekend. Friday I went to this bar in Wrigley for one of those two hours drink for free deals, nothing too crazy but I found myself laughing at people trying to do the ole hook up routine. It truly made me glad that I am married and can just go and get my drink on and head home with the one that brought me. The people we were hanging out with were my wife’s girlfriends, the single friends, and the ones that will be single for a LOOONG time. The reason I think this is they think they are going to meet some hot young stud, and have not yet lowered their standards. Plus they lack personality; my wife was the diamond amongst those roughs.

Saturday I slept in a little more than normal, when I finally woke up my wife and I went out for a long walk in the nice warm sun. The destination was this bakery that we read about in Lincoln Park. Supposedly the donuts were phenomenal, so we figured a walk would justify a few donuts each. We each got a donut and I got an ice coffee, for right around ten dollars. Totally not worth it, to tell you the truth, I’ll stick to getting my donuts from Dinkle’s, which has the best Chocolate donut on the north side of Chicago. Saturday night we went to a party over in Lakeview and I drank a lot, but also had a lot of fun, and didn’t get in any trouble because I didn’t get too drunk. So that goes in he win column

Sunday I totally slept in late and only left the house to get groceries needed for my newest eating plan.I’m tipping the scales at 200.6 pounds as of 6:15 this morning, none of my clothes fit comfortably, I’m snoring like a maniac and even the easiest exercise is wearing me down. So hopefully my new workout/eating program gets me back in shape. The gaol is to get back down to 175-180 pounds.

I’m sure I can do this I just need to get this eating under control. Have a great day kids. I hear it's going to be warm out there. Stay hydrated 

Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer.Maybe self-destruction is the answer.

I check the address four or five times and I am positive that the GPS has directed me to the wrong address but the address I have scrawled across the paper clearly says 2147 S. Lumber Street Unit 219. So as I stand outside of the U-Haul storage building I debate hopping back into the car and heading home, but for some reason I change my mind and walk into the building. I make my way to the second floor and walk amongst the storage locker and think I have definitely been pranked by one of my co-workers, that or he is a member of Fight Club and this is how I’m about to find out. Then in a distance I hear what is faintly hear music playing. I walk into Unit 219 and here are people making their way through the end of their 5:30 class. I sit in the back thinking, “yea so this is your basic boot camp been there done that I’m glad this is a free trial”

There is very little time between the ending of the first class and my class that I am taking at 6:30. I find myself nodding to the music the LIVE DJ is playing, I am getting excited, and starting to feel like kind of a badass for being in this factory getting ready to see what this is all about. Within five minutes I am surrounded by Lake Punkerson sweat is streaming out of every pore and the yoga mat that I brought with has turned into my own little slip and slide. I throw it to the side, suddenly I have lost track of time, I look around and I see the cowork that told me about this place with making their way through the workout. Time is moving both fast and slow at the same time; I feel anger and happiness all at the same time. I realize I have left my water bottle too far from me. Some of the exercises I cannot do and it pisses me off, things that seem easy as they are demonstrated become painfully hard. In my head I am screaming, “come ON do IT DO it YOU can DO it” but I lose it I fall back and try to gain my composure. Dewayne does not slow down the whole time; he keeps going, strutting around leading you through this insane workout that never seems to end.

Then the music slows and I’m half stretching half wondering how I’ll get myself down to the car and back home without crashing.

Slowly things clear up and I have energy. A LOT of energy, I feel like a freaking warrior, a hungry warrior. I’m hooked, this guy has a follower. I’ve done boot camps, workouts with friends and at gyms that I have memberships with but this is by far the best experience I have ever had. That was my first experience there.

I ended up going there three or four times paying the as you go rate (foolish looking back at it) but each time I went I liked it that much more Kobra Fitness is by far the coolest most freaking badass workout experience I have ever had in my life. I have tried the cross fits, the spin classes, the other boot camps offered but Dewayne Montgomery of Kobra Fitness by far the most motivating individual I have ever had the terror and joy of working out with.

I have signed up for his ten week Elite training course. If my experience yesterday is any inclination of what I can expect you will definitely see a change in this little fat man you have come to recognize. Yesterdays 90 minutes class had me doing things I never imagined possible. Trying to explain some of the workouts would not do them justice. The guy has skill. As happy as I was that the class was over for the night, on my ride home I found myself thinking next Thursday is a LONG way away. I may have to sign up for another class. I am on a new drug and that drug is Kobra Fitness.

Check out the site www.kobrafitness.net/Bio.html. I guarantee if you are brave enough to try a class we will soon be suffering through my new addiction together.

Breaking rocks in the HOT sun

Well kids I am going to meet with my background investigator today. It is step three or four leaving six or seven more steps in my goal to get the job. I of course am excited beyond belief and am very hopeful as I move onto the next steps of this very long process. There is a whole lot of waiting to hear if I make it to the next step and I am working on trying to be more patience. I have never had patience; I came up in a generation of get everything right away. You want a quick filling dinner go to any of the ten fast food places in my neighborhood. Want it even quicker pop things in the microwave. Who even mails letters anymore, everyone sends e-mail, or face books or sends out tweets to communicate. Heck I don’t even have to pick up the phone anymore I can send a text saying anything I would have said if I called someone on the phone. Probably one of my favorite advances in technology is texting as far as the get it now information.

But with this job application process it is a lot of waiting around, a lot of going to check the mailbox, a lot of wondering if I’ll make the cut. Another lottery jobs with something like 15,000 applicants with open enrollment; I’m not even sure how many they are actually hiring. I really hope to get this job. It would be a total switch up and I have no clue what I would even be doing. But it would get me away from wasting away at this desk. The really messed up thing is at any point I can be disqualified at any point and no explanation would be offered for what knocked me out of consideration. YIKES! What if I’m too old, What if I caused too much trouble in my days after high school. Sheet!

I gotta run. Hope y’all have a great day. Be nice to someone for no reason today heck I challenge you to do one nice thing a day for the rest of this year. For days that you don’t go outside carry your nice thing to the next day. BUT no doing seven nice things in one day and then being a dick/dicket for the following week.

I sound like a freaking hippy. I hate hippies. I mean I could do without those smelly, stoned, jam band listening to, Phish heads for a while.

The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care

I get really mad when people ask me a question that they already know the answer to. I feel it is very passive aggressive and is usually asked with such attitude that I almost feel as if the person or in work cases people are smacking me in the face. My work life is simply put annoying as all get out. There is no sense of accomplishment EVER, even if I work ahead additional work gets dumped on my desk that other departments can’t seem to get done, which eventually leads to my work getting all backed up. Now my company is flirting with the idea of summer hours, which in theory is awesome, but I feel that they are giving us something so that they have a “perk” to take away. The thing is people that I work with are going crazy with excitement over the idea of summer hours. But getting back to the asking questions that people already know the answer to. This place operates on a system of reports being run in what can only be described as constantly. I am inundated with request for reports or e-mails asking if I have finished thee reports.

(I hate when I’m right)

I just got out of a quick meeting stating that I need to drop all of my work and do the work of another department. If NOT SUMMER HOURS will be taken away. I almost walked out of the meeting. I don’t care about summer hours. If they didn’t hypothetically offer summer hour they wouldn’t have anything to hypothetically take away.

I need to work on my work place poker face. I feel bad for my direct supervisor; he always has the horrific job of delivering the crap news from the higher ups. I even feel bad for my boss above him. The people at the top of my company say yes to everything our clients ask for. They also say yes to deadlines that are very rough to reach. I guess every office is like this but man if I knew this was what my life would have consisted of back in 1994-1995 maybe I would have hopefully actually finished school and got me one of those degrees future employers are always asking about. Man I sure was a stupid optimistic dreamer back in the day

Summer Hours. What a bunch of freaking idiots we all are. Just give me an F@#KING RAISE already. Operation Shawshank Redemption needs start. Nothing worse than someone that sits and complains and does absolutely nothing about it.

Welcome to June 2011 this is the time of year where working in an office is about as appealing as ……..