i hear a train a comin' It's rollin' 'round the bend

I went and bought a bunch of my uniform stuff and some of the equipment that I need to have purchased by the time I start academy. Even though I prepared myself to spend the cash there was still that feeling as they slid the credit card through of “holy shit this is really real” Yes it was real when I sent in my application eighteen months ago, Yes it was real when I went in to take my first written test after studying fractions and percentages with Flaca all night because math has always been my weakness. It became a little more real when the letter inviting me to the physical tests arrived last October. But it wasn’t “that real” because I was keeping it a secret from everyone in my family. I didn’t want it to be the fire fighter thing all over again. Then it got a little less real when I started working that job in retail last year. I mean I thought about it all the time but working two jobs trying to save for our future house this job seemed so far away. Then in February I received a call informing me to pick up my background investigation packet. That made it kind of real again because I let more people in on what I was up to but kept a lot of the details under wraps. I returned my packet and it became a little less real again but some people from work knew about it so it was kind of like fake real.  Then there was a weird slow down where I was sure it wouldn’t work out and I wouldn’t make it any further. Then I was invited to the 2^nd PAT test and that was cool I thinking I ran the fastest I have in a while that day. That was in August. After that things went great and of course it ends with me looking at the start date of my academy. Finally Flaca and I have been able to tell everyone that I am starting my career change into law enforcement. It took me thirty-five years but I finally think I figured out what I want to be. I’m looking at this as my new beginning into something that can be very promising for me. Sliding that credit card through somehow made it seem more real. It was quite pricey for the stuff I bought and I still have more stuff to get. Good thing Flaca whipped me into shape and I finally got my first credit card last year. It is making it a hell of a lot easier to buy all the stuff I need.

In the meantime I am in that weird part of work where I know I’m leaving. The future and all the madness that will be packed in around it is just out of sight and my time at this madhouse is winding down. I just hope I am making the right decision with this career move. At this point I say one hundred percent yes but I hope I don’t become one of those burn out harden types. I don’t often get nervous about too many things. It is my curiosity about how things that will play out that have me anxious. I just want to provide a good life for my wife and for my imaginary children that will hopefully come to be once I get a house for Flaca.

All right I’m getting off track here. I bought most of my uniform and some of my gear. Next I just have to get my supplies for class and some new running shoes. It is all crazy expensive for some reason. I’m not so much nervous a excited and maybe a little scared.

This is stolen but I think it sums up my thoughts