Are you seriously telling me you know nothing about the product you sell? Are you telling me that my livelihood relies on your ability to have people purchase a service that consumes and insane amount of my life working on, yet you know nothing about it? Are you seriously just saying yes we can do that not knowing the amount of time that goes into it? Awe man!! I’ve been here for nine LONG painful years. I almost didn’t make it passed my first two weeks here. Before this I never stayed at a place for longer than three years. But somehow I have been here nine years. The sick thing is I’m still surprised by the people that run this place. I personally have not received a raise in four years. In fact when the economy tanked a while back I watched as nine people were called into a room and group fired. I spent the rest of the day praying that I would not get called in and informed that I too had been let go. Every single day I work here I live in a paralyzing fear that we will lose one or two of our big clients and I will be out of a job. I do not like it to say the least. It scares me shitless. I have been working on my shawshank redemption plan but there is a lot of waiting around. Then there’s no guarantee that that I’ll land that other thing. I’m at a point where all I can do is wait to be called in, then there’s the multi level interview where at any point they can say you do not qualify thanks for applying get lost. If this happens I will be back at square one. Nothing like applying for lottery jobs, the curse of an uneducated non-skill having fancy lad. If I had a time machine and went back to talk to myself would I listen?
At least the day is almost over. Then I hop on the ole bicycle and ride home. My time to decompress a little while splashing around Chicago’s moist streets a moment of pure innocent happiness, until someone tries to run me over. This is the part where I’m realizing life isn’t really that bad. Work sucks when you are doing something that is someone else’s passion or what equals to someone else’s success. If my life sucks I need to quit bitching and do something about it. The question I pose to the world is what would make you happy. If you had to have a job what would you do that would make you truly happy. What is your measure of success?
Me I’d like to work on/in film behind the scenes. I’m not sure what capacity. I’d like to make enough money to buy a home in a neighborhood I truly love. The true measure of my success would be a house with a yard that I could drink a cold PBR on a hot summer evening after having a crap day at work. Maybe. At least that’s what my measure is today.
Wow. It worked writing it out here cleared my head. Two minutes till the bike ride home.
This place ain’t so bad. I work with some great people. Well mostly good people.
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