I have spent a large part of my life putting my past in my rearview window. I realized this even more last night as I was having a conversation about where I went to high school compared to where I lived. I was able to choose my high school and I chose one that was just about as far away from my grade school as I could think of. Of course there was still a few of my grade school peeps there but for the most part I was going to be able to be given a chance to reinvent myself as I had been lead to believe you were able to do in high school. By the time high school was over I created a pretty crappy personality that was fitting of a teen stumbling into adulthood. I went to a junior college down the street from my high school, which was a pretty bad choice. All the assholes that I had thought were going away to their colleges were right there with me. Y’all know how that played out and I started working jobs.
I made some tweaks to my persona but one of the annoying worst habits I picked up was drinking. I was never good at it, in fact I was/am terrible at it. As years have gone by I have spaced out the amount of times that I slip into my old drunken fool persona which is really freaking annoying, but I carry the guilt, disgust and low feelings around for a long time afterwards.
Well I’m going to work on changing my persona one more time. Things are changing over in Punkersonville and I am going to prepare myself to meet the challenges head on. I want to be able to hold my head up high and know that people have not had to deal with drunken slurred out shouts from a wasted Wick at weird times of the night. I want to live up to the high standard that I hold everybody else up to. I think my old drunk routine can be retired for a while.
I may have some good news next week. Well I know I have some good news but I’ll have definite answers. My Shawshank Redemption Plan is coming together and on Monday morning I will get full details. I won’t go on much more but I think I can say that I will be leaving this part of my life in my rearview very soon. I am insanely optimistic that this will be an excellent change in my life.
Hopefully yesterday will contain the last whiney annoying pity party that is thrown after I have over indulged. Hopefully.
As for now it’s back to TPS reports. I haven’t told anyone I work with yet. Mostly because I’m not sure what to tell them .
Here’s to getting what you want. Go get it kids
Don't be too hard on yourself.
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