Tuesday, June 7, 2011

you will not go to heaven you'll go to Champaign Illinois

This is by far my favorite time of year to live in the beautiful city of Chicago. There is absolutely not one bit of sarcasm in my throat when I say that. You see I love it when it is hot and humid. It is bad for people around me because I am a total sweat hog but I cannot deny the fact that my mood is higher and I am generally easier going. I love that when I ride my bike to work in the morning it is almost like someone has dumped a bucket of water over my head. Even though I must take three showers a day during the summer I love it. I love that I do not feel the need to get to work as fast as possible in the morning. I love that there are people out at 5 am riding bikes, running, and (gasp) rollerblading. In the evenings I find myself wanting to be out just to be out, like when I was a kid and was able to stay out until just after the streetlights came on. Also who doesn’t love an ice cold cocktail or even better an ICE-cold beer on an extremely hot and humid evening? I just wish people didn’t get so crazy as the temperatures started to rise. We have only had a few warm days in a row and I already see the stories on the news of crime getting more aggressive. Mob Action? Random acts of Violence? Really humanity come on, can’t we all figure out how to spend a nice summer day with each other. Hopefully as Chicagoans get used to he heat they will all remember how much we really just want to have fun, stay out a little later than we’re suppose to. That hangover you will suffer through will be a reminder that last night was worth it and the four times you said “one more drink” was worth it. As long as you are not driving because you know what people. DRINKING AND DRIVING IS NOT COOL. Go to the local bar; take the train to the bar just out of range. Maybe that stranger you meet will let you have a sleep over if you play your cards right.
Which leads me to…. Ladies if you are single just go out and talk to guys. Any guy you want within reason. It is a million times easier for a girl to approach a boy. Buy him a drink, compliment him on his beer gut, and ask if his team is winning in the sport he is pretending to watch. Men are not a complicated bunch. They are as simple as you think.
And gentlemen grow a sack walk up to the girl; don’t try any lines just talk to them. Take notice in what they are doing. Compliments go far as long as they are not creepy. That is probably the hardest thing about being a guy is we automatically are creeps until we prove otherwise.
Talk to strangers kids, get phone numbers, say ridiculous things, make poor decisions, enjoy a humid morning walk of shame, but be respectful.
Oh and all you married or coupled up people treat your significant other like it is the first month you met them. Where you had super powers and were not too tired to stay up talking, heavy petting, and eventually well you know where it’s heading. Listen to each other pretend you are strangers. Keep it interesting.
I’m all over the place I notice. But summer does that to me.
Drivers of Chicago please be careful out there, my wife has started riding her bike to work, she’s a rookie so please don’t haze her with car horns, following too close or the worst fear of any cyclist kicking your car door open into the bike lane. I also request that people stop joking about dooring it’s not funny.
Stay Thirsty my friends

1 comment: